"Coolly evaluating the pretty cheerleader's expression, I paused and looked her in the eye. "I just got out of a very serious relationship, Maddie. I'... really not ready to start dating again."An engagingly predatory smile crossed Maddie's face. "Well, there are a few of us who don't mind skipping all that dating stuff, Ben. You know, Ben, maybe just a casual opportunity to release some tension would be good for you. Unclog the pipes as it were." Maddie..." My tone shifted uncomfortably."Hey,. Ahhhhhmen." he said."And how long has it been since your last confession? He prompted."Well now you're asking, maybe 10 years or more." So you wouldn't say you're especially devout?"The man chuckled again. "My devotions tend to be more, er... secular." Please go on." He prompted again."Oh it's hard to stop." He grunted, then moaned again."Are you alright?" The priest asked, wondering if the man was having some sort of seizure."Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Then please continue." Ok, I have to confess. My wife: Why do you have to talk dirty?Me: Dirty is the mood. Additionally, I am telling my wife, not a neighbor, that you are reacting like this.Saying this, I slowly slid off the bed from my side and crawled toward my wife’s side. Staying on the floor, I start lifting my wife’s petticoat to her knees. She tries to stop me. In response, I grab her calves with my palm and squeeze them hard.This hurts her, and as a reaction, she tries to kick me off of her. But in the process, she lands up,. Suddenly she woke and turned to face me and opened her sleepy eyes and smiled, “Morning Frank” she said softly, “Did I move much last night?” she asked and I told her that as far as I remember she was ok and didn’t disturb me and she smiled and then looked down at my morning wood, “Damn Frank” she said, “Are you still drunk?” she asked and I had to explain that this was a condition called ‘Morning wood’ which most men suffered from, “Wow” she said as she admired the throbbing erection I had.
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